Mayci Neely Is Putting It All Out There: From Writing About Her Traumatic Past in Her ‘NYT’ Bestseller to Being the Peacemaker of MomTok

Whether you’re an avid fan of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives or not, the pack of moms’ impact on culture and social media is undeniable. Many of the cast members bring the drama and girl fights that people tune in for, but then there’s Mayci Neely. Mayci is a 30-year-old mother of three, owner of a natal nutrition business and, as of a few days ago, a New York Times best-selling author.

Her story is one of many twists, turns and trauma—some of which have been revealed on the show, while others she’s kept close to her chest until her book debuted. Through all her challenges, she’s just as silly as she is serious, holding up TikToks that make her laugh to show me on Zoom and regaling me with a tale of a twerking dance video she and Mikayla Matthews found too embarrassing to upload. We caught up with Mayci ahead of her book launch to get insight into her writing process, favorite makeup products, go-to beauty treatments and how she sees her role in the viral MomTok group. Dive in ahead.

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Congrats on your book! Have you always been interested in writing, or was it just a way to work through everything? Did you enjoy the process?

“Growing up, I didn’t love to write. There were times when I would write lyrics to songs and make weird stuff like that, right? Once you get into high school and you’re doing a lot of essays and things, writing sucks. Then in college, it changed to 10-page papers and things like that. I didn’t enjoy it, but I was always pretty good at it. I think it just kind of comes naturally to me. I started enjoying it more when I got into my major, broadcast journalism. When you’re starting to write about things that you enjoy or that are exciting to you, I think it makes it more fun. So I think once I got a little bit older and was writing about things that I enjoyed, then I started liking it.”

How long were you working on the book for?

“I always say it’s been a big work in progress over the last 10 years because I wrote a blog that was a very brief summary of my story, and then I wrote in this black diary, which I mention in the book. I wrote very deep things throughout my whole pregnancy and a little bit after. Throughout the years, I’ve written different things because I always knew I wanted to write a book, since I went through my trials, so I’d write periodically in Word docs and Google Docs. So it took a full year of piecing it all together, but I had written things over the last like 10 years which definitely made it easier, but it was still a difficult process.”

Speaking of trials and tribulations, when you’re having a rough day with grief or trauma or anything like that, what helps you feel better?

“Honestly, sometimes it’s just being alone. I feel like when you’re a mom, you’re so busy. When I’m going through things that are hard or stressful, sometimes I’ll just tell my husband, ‘I need a minute. Let me go do a shower.’ Sometimes he’ll put the kids to bed so I can chill, watch a show and just get my mind off things. He is great for that. If I really am struggling, I like to take a walk and listen to music. I feel like music is a big part of both my grief and healing journeys. I love music, and it can really put me in a good mood or just reframe my mindset. I also love to go to the movies if I just want to get my mind off something.”

I feel like you have a reputation as the peacemaker, always there for everyone. Have you always been like that, or have you fallen into that role within your group of friends?

“I would say it’s a mixture. I’ve always been someone who is, honestly, fairly chill, but I feel like I’ve fallen into that role with this group of friends, to be honest. Once I went through all my trials and grief and abuse, I feel like it made me a better person, and I think I became more chill and more understanding and more empathetic. So I think I’ve changed over the years.

If you had gone to talk to Mayci at 18, it would have been different because I went through a phase during my abuse where I was a different person. I wouldn’t say I was a bad person, but I was just definitely a lot more aggressive and on edge and edgy. And I do like that side of me; it will come out every once in a while. When I was pregnant—I guess you’ll see in season three, it definitely came out a bit more—you’ll see I was definitely more b***hy. I definitely have that side to me where I get irritated, but I’m pretty chill unless I get like, cracked. I have both sides for sure.

I’m very chill 97 percent of the time, and then in the other 3 percent, if it does come out, I’m like, watch out. All the girls are always like, ‘I want to see that side come out.’ I’m like, ‘No, you don’t.’ It came out a little bit when I was pregnant and Layla saw it, so I guess you’ll see this season. She was like, ‘You’re scary,’ and I was like, ‘Well, yeah, you pissed me off.’ It doesn’t come out very often, but I don’t get taken advantage of. I’ll stand up for myself. I’ll say what I feel needs to be said. I’ll defend myself, but I’m not going to put myself in the middle of drama that doesn’t concern me or that’s not about me. I mean, you can ask my opinion—I’ll give it—but I don’t need to be involved or insert myself into that because I like my peace. I like to go to bed at night and not be stressed, so I try to stay out of things for the most part.”

Tell me about your new book, I Told You So.

“I think that when people read the book, they’ll be surprised by the other sides they don’t get to see. They see a certain version of me on the show, and that is who I am, but [with the book] you get to see almost the inner workings of my brain. I think a lot of people will understand why I am the way that I am because of what I’ve been through. I feel like this show doesn’t even come close to scratching the surface of my story and what really happened and what I went through. I think it’ll also be very relatable to many women. I’m excited for everyone to read it.”

Tell us about some of your favorite beauty products.

“So for makeup, I’ve been a huge fan of DIBS. I love Dibs Contour Sticks ($38). I use those all the time. For brows, I love Anastasia’s brow pens ($28). For lips, my go-to, which I don’t feel is that popular yet, is Lawless. The Lawless liners ($21), the Lawless gloss ($26)—I’m obsessed. As far as powder goes, I like the Polite Society translucent powder ($34). I use that one a lot. The tubing Milk mascara ($29), I love that. For eyes, I love the Tarte palette with Aspyn Ovard ($45), that collab is so good. We love a good spray tan. If I don’t spray tan, I like the Sunnee BAEskin foam ($28) and I also like Coco & Eve ($39).

Why is this so fun? I’m trying to think of all the little things I like to do. If I do lashes, I do Pro Lash—the ones that last like a week. I like those. For skin care, I kind of switch between stuff. I’ll use Prequel cleanser ($22), but then I’ll use Drunk Elephant. I use CLEARSTEM a lot as well. There’s so many.

I also got into K-beauty. I was using the ILLIYOON gentle lotion ($14). I love lotions and stuff because I have really dry skin, so I lather my body up at night, especially when I was pregnant. It just gets so dry in Utah, you kind of have to lather up every night.”

Do you do any beauty treatments?

“Obviously, we love Botox. I want to start doing lasers, actually. I did it once, like two years ago, and my skin looked so good. I did the BBL Moxie combo. I want to do that again, but I just can’t while filming. I don’t do a ton of facials, actually. I do a HydraFacial every once in a while.”