How can I stop overthinking everything? A clinical psychologist offers solutions

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How Can I Stop Overthinking Everything? A Clinical Psychologist Offers Solutions

As a clinical psychologist, I often have clients say they are having trouble with thoughts "on a loop" in their head, which they find difficult to manage. While rumination and overthinking are often considered the same thing, they are slightly different (though linked). Rumination is having thoughts on repeat in our minds. This can lead to overthinking – analyzing those thoughts without finding solutions or solving the problem.

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Why We Overthink

Our brains are hardwired to look for threats, to make a plan to address those threats and keep us safe. Those perceived threats may be based on past experiences, or may be the "what ifs" we imagine could happen in the future. Our "what ifs" are usually negative outcomes. These are what we call "hot thoughts" – they bring up a lot of emotion (particularly sadness, worry or anger), which means we can easily get stuck on those thoughts and keep going over them.

Who Overthinks?

Most people find themselves in situations at one time or another when they overthink. Some people are more likely to ruminate. People who have had prior challenges or experienced trauma may have come to expect threats and look for them more than people who have not had adversities. Deep thinkers, people who are prone to anxiety or low mood, and those who are sensitive or feel emotions deeply are also more likely to ruminate and overthink.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

When thoughts go on repeat, it is helpful to use both emotion-focused and problem-focused strategies. Being emotion-focused means figuring out how we feel about something and addressing those feelings. For example, we might feel regret, anger or sadness about something that has happened, or worry about something that might happen. Acknowledging those emotions, using self-care techniques and accessing social support to talk about and manage your feelings will be helpful.

Think About Why These Thoughts Are Showing Up

Our feelings and experiences are information; it is important to ask what this information is telling you and why these thoughts are showing up now. For example, university has just started again. Parents of high school leavers might be lying awake at night worrying about their young person. Knowing how you would respond to some more likely possibilities (such as they will need money, they might be lonely or homesick) might be helpful.

Let the Thoughts Go

A useful way to manage rumination or overthinking is "change, accept, and let go". Challenge and change aspects of your thoughts where you can. For example, the chance that your young person will run out of money and have no food and starve (overthinking tends to lead to your brain coming up with catastrophic outcomes!) is not likely. You could plan to check in with your child regularly about how they are coping financially and encourage them to access budgeting support from university services.

What Else Can You Do?

A stressed out and tired brain will be more likely to overthink, leading to more stress and creating a cycle that can affect your wellbeing. So it’s important to manage your stress levels by eating and sleeping well, moving your body, doing things you enjoy, seeing people you care about, and doing things that fuel your soul and spirit.

Conclusion

When you find yourself overthinking, think about why you are having "hot thoughts", acknowledge your feelings and do some future-focused problem solving. But also accept life can be unpredictable and focus on having faith in your ability to cope.

FAQs

• How can I stop overthinking everything?
  • Use both emotion-focused and problem-focused strategies to manage your thoughts and feelings.
• Why do I overthink?
  • Our brains are hardwired to look for threats and our "what ifs" are usually negative outcomes.
• Who is more likely to overthink?
  • People who have had prior challenges or experienced trauma, deep thinkers, people who are prone to anxiety or low mood, and those who are sensitive or feel emotions deeply.
• What can I do to manage my stress levels?
  • Eat and sleep well, move your body, do things you enjoy, see people you care about, and do things that fuel your soul and spirit.