GoodTherapy Member Spotlight: Dr. Glenda Clare

  LIVE INTERVIEW: Watch the Conversation with Dr. Glenda Clare

Q: What would you say to someone who’s never been to therapy before and is curious about what happens in the first therapy session?

Dr. Clare:

When I think about the first session for someone who is starting therapy, I want them to know that therapy is a safe place. It’s a place where they can come, they can be themselves, they can share with someone that’s not going to judge them.

During that first session, we’re essentially setting the parameters for what will happen after. When I have my first session [with a client], I’m generally going over some things that they need to know: the sessions are confidential [and] I’m there to listen to them and to guide them. They need to know that essentially this is their therapy, so they also are setting some boundaries in terms of what they do and do not want to discuss.

There are some times when I can’t keep everything confidential — if you’re going to hurt yourself or if you’re going to hurt someone else. During those times, I will not be able to keep this confidential.

Q: How does therapy help if someone feels like something’s off, but they can’t quite put their finger on it?

Dr. Clare:

We all got issues. There are times in everyone’s lives where things aren’t quite the way we think that they should be. It’s during those time periods that it’s okay to enter into therapy.

Therapy is a place where you will be safe. No one’s going to be sharing your business. No one is going to be judging you. They are going to take that time with you to say, well, maybe there is something to that, that we need to examine. And you know what? That’s a good thing. Change happens when you first acknowledge that there’s a need for change, and then you do something about it. Going to therapy is that first step in doing something about it.

Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who understand them?

Dr. Clare:

Let’s be honest. Everybody is not your person. You don’t need to be dealing with the people who are clueless about your situation, about who you are, about what you are striving to do.

It is okay to screen therapists. I have 15-minute consultation sessions so people can see, do we click or don’t we click?

It’s important to do that. And even after that 15 minutes, say you’ve been meeting with somebody for a couple of weeks and you’re still not quite sure that they’re kind of getting it, then you can change.

However, don’t decide you don’t like somebody because they’re challenging you. That’s part of therapy. They should be challenging you to get out of your comfort zone.

We have what’s called the therapeutic alliance. It’s a relationship between the client and the therapist. During those first few consultation sessions, you are interviewing them, and they are interviewing you. You are interviewing them to see if you believe that you click with each other. The therapist is also going to be doing the dance of, is this a topic that I think that I can be helpful to the client about?

Q: What is your therapy approach, and what is different about the way you work with clients?

Dr. Clare:

My philosophy is that we all got issues. We are to figure out what you need and to provide the resources that you need so that you can enhance your wellness, not mine.

So this is a partnership. There may be some directions that I think might be good for you to go in and you may have another thought. It’s about you and me working with you to give you what you need so that you can get better.

Q: From your experience, what are the signs of a good client-therapist match?

Dr. Clare:

I have learned that emotions are key. When I’ve got a good fit with a client, there are days when we cry together. There are days when we laugh together. So we can have a combination of the two of those things.

The bottom line is that you get it, that you have AHA moments, that you know that you’re just feeling safe with that person.

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