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Preparing for Couples Therapy: A Guide to Success
Preparing for couples therapy can be a daunting task, especially if you’re new to the process. However, with the right mindset and approach, you can set yourself up for success and make the most out of your therapy sessions. In this article, we’ll explore the key takeaways for couples preparing for therapy, including how to set realistic expectations, find the right therapist, and stay focused throughout the process.
Decide Between In-Person and Online Therapy
Before committing to a couples therapist, it’s essential to determine whether you and your partner prefer in-person or online sessions. While most private insurers now cover both methods equally, it’s crucial to double-check with your plan to confirm. Once you’ve considered the financial implications, you’ll also want to determine what works best for you and your partner.
Some people find in-person therapy to be more personal, as nonverbal cues – such as body language and mood – can be harder to decipher over a video call, and building trust with a therapist may be easier face-to-face. On the other hand, many people prefer online therapy due to its convenience. Finding roughly an hour each week that works for three individuals’ schedules is not easy, and being able to do so from the comfort of your home could increase the likelihood of long-term commitment.
Set Realistic Expectations
Let’s outline what you can expect and not expect out of couples therapy. According to Lori Gottlieb, a prominent psychotherapist who is well-versed in both individual and relationship counseling:
"The hardest part of couples therapy is accepting that you will need to improve your response to a problem (how you think about it, feel about it, or what to do about it). Very few people want to focus on improving their response. It’s more common to build a strong case for why the other should do the improving."
Regardless of why you’re seeking couples counseling, understand that, if done well, such therapy will require a change in behaviors and thought patterns. Just like participation in a professional setting or on a sports team, if the group is not working toward the same goal, progress will be slim at best, and relying on one player or colleague to carry most of the weight would be unfair. Similarly, with couples, make sure you have a conversation about the top recurring issues you hope to remediate in the most respectful and blameless way possible. Remember, therapy objectives should not result in placing an overwhelming burden on one party.
Key Takeaways for Couples
- Be patient: Remember that our deeply entrenched thoughts and behaviors do not change overnight, and it takes time to alter such patterns in ways that translate to definitively positive outcomes.
- Stay focused: Being as specific as possible in the challenges your relationship faces (all while staying blameless!) will also help you find the perfect fit of a therapist.
- Consider different therapeutic approaches: Research the types of therapy that you and your partner would benefit from. One approach that is particularly useful for couples is emotion-based therapy, which can help partners better understand their emotional responses and those of their significant other.
- Find therapists with particular areas of expertise: You may also want to search for a therapist with experience and credentials working with the specific issues your relationship is struggling with, whether that is substance abuse, infidelity or a particular mental health condition.
Conclusion
Preparing for couples therapy requires a willingness to be patient, focused, and open-minded. By setting realistic expectations, finding the right therapist, and considering different therapeutic approaches, you can set yourself up for success and make the most out of your therapy sessions. Remember to stay focused on the challenges your relationship faces, and don’t be afraid to seek out therapists with particular areas of expertise.
FAQs
Q: What are some common challenges couples face in therapy?
A: Common challenges couples face in therapy include infidelity, financial stress, communication issues, and substance abuse.
Q: How long does couples therapy typically last?
A: The length of couples therapy can vary depending on the specific issues you’re addressing and the progress you’re making. On average, couples therapy can last anywhere from a few months to a year or more.
Q: What is emotion-based therapy, and how can it help couples?
A: Emotion-based therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on helping couples understand and manage their emotional responses to each other. This can help partners better communicate and connect with each other, leading to a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
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