94 Years of Wisdom

Ichi-Go Ichi-E: The Power of Living in the Moment

Last week, I flew to Massachusetts to visit my 94-year-old grandmother in the hospital. As I sat by her bedside, I was struck by the wisdom and love that radiated from her very being. She is an amazing woman, and I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to learn from her for 40 years and counting.

Gramma was born in 1930 to first-generation Newfoundlanders. She grew up to be a preschool teacher for 22 years and has been an active member in her community for her entire life. She was a heck of a quilter and helped launch multiple quilting initiatives over the years. She volunteered at the Council on Aging and often drove for Meals on Wheels, "delivering meals to the old people" (as she called it), which she did well into her 80s!

During past visits to Massachusetts, I would swing by Gramma’s for an afternoon, habitually checking my phone, often distracted with some unimportant work thought that occupied my brain. I think having known her my entire life, I just had this thought "Gramma has always been here, and Gramma will always be here."

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Fortunately, I stumbled upon an ancient Japanese concept that helped me recognize and course correct this pattern. It allowed all of my recent visits with Gramma to be decidedly different.

Ichi-Go Ichi-E: One Time, One Meeting

This concept, dating back to Japanese tea ceremonies in the 1600s, translates to "one time, one meeting." It’s a reminder for us to treasure and embrace each unrepeatable moment in time. No matter how often we do something or see somebody, it is the only time that it will truly happen this way, in this moment.

This concept can remind us to be more present. Instead of checking our phones, we can focus on the person or task in front of us. Instead of worrying about tomorrow or zoning out, we can be here now. Instead of going through the motions, we can be a bit more deliberate with our behavior.

I’ve reflected a lot on Japanese Zen philosophy over the past few years, and this concept of ichi-go ichi-e has stuck with me too.

Gramma’s Community

Last week, my brother and I drove up to visit Gramma in the hospital each day. And each day, a revolving door of guests would show up to check on her: her nieces and nephews, my uncle and father, my sister and mother (who just had surgery!), her grandkids, the son of her best friend, her friend Anne, friends from the Council of Aging, fellow quilters, and people from her church.

At one point, there were 10 of us visiting at the same time, and it turned into an absolute party. I was in awe of this woman and how many lives she has impacted. If there’s a clear sign of a life well lived, it’s being surrounded by people who love you. Gramma has been selfless for so much of her life, and I was amazed and inspired at how many people dropped everything to come and spend time with her, swapping stories and keeping her company.

Despite the circumstances, she still has a great sense of humor too. The first time she opened her eyes and saw me, she smiled and said, "I remembered another story!" She then told me about the time she "borrowed" a car, even though she didn’t have a license yet, to drive through the streets of Boston to track down her boyfriend.

Live Deliberately

As I walked around Walden Pond, the very pond made famous by Henry David Thoreau in his book Walden, I couldn’t help but think about Gramma’s life and how she has lived deliberately. She has prioritized what’s most important to her: family, friends, and community.

Thoreau retreated to solitude to discover what was most important to him. Gramma went the other direction, prioritizing what’s most important to her. Two different scenarios, the same end result: choosing to live deliberately.

I don’t have plans on moving into the woods and living simply, but I do think I’ve done my best to live more deliberately these past few years. Specifically, re-prioritizing what’s most important to me too: friends, family, and community.

All We Have to Decide

As Gandalf tells Frodo in The Fellowship of the Ring, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." I hope my Gramma and Thoreau can inspire you to live more deliberately:

• If you’re willing to put your phone down and be present with the people in front of you, life can feel so much more rich.
• If you’re willing to prioritize what’s actually important instead of the stuff that tries to steal your attention, you’ll never go wrong with the choices you make.
• If you can find a way to focus on the important people in your life, they’ll still be a part of it when you’re 94.

And finally remember, no matter what you do today, this is the only time this moment will happen. Act accordingly.

Conclusion

As I sit here reflecting on my time with Gramma, I’m reminded of the importance of living in the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but it’s the moments we share with others that truly matter. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from my Gramma and hope to continue living deliberately.

FAQs

Q: What is ichi-go ichi-e?
A: Ichi-go ichi-e is an ancient Japanese concept that translates to "one time, one meeting." It’s a reminder to treasure and embrace each unrepeatable moment in time.

Q: How can I live more deliberately?
A: Start by putting your phone down and being present with the people in front of you. Prioritize what’s actually important instead of the stuff that tries to steal your attention. Focus on the important people in your life, and they’ll still be a part of it when you’re 94.

Q: What is the most important thing to learn from Gramma’s life?
A: The most important thing to learn from Gramma’s life is the importance of living deliberately. She has prioritized what’s most important to her: family, friends, and community.